by Dennis Green
What is that white, creamy stuff tricklimg down your leg? No cheating, now! No peeking.
Ah, the sex life! It keeps us goin’ and sometimes drives us crazy. And we wouldn’t have it any other way.
I’ve had way more than my share and didn’t start enjoying the opposite sex any sooner than my contemporaries. Can you say “Hound Dawg”? Contrary to Catholic doctrine, I didn’t always do so for the purposes of procreation, or with the Pope’s blessing. I even, more often than not, used birth control or respected my partner for doing so.
We’ve gone through a number of sexual revolutions since I grew up in the Fifties, when making out, petting and “dry humping” were as often as not the order of the day….ur…rather, the evening or very early hours of the morning, usually in an automobile, sometimes the back seat, sometimes the front, especially if you had a bench seat and no four-on-the-floor.
And I was almost 40 when I finally learned how to do it right. A wonderful lover hinted that the best sex she’d ever had was with a man who went REALLY SLOW, and, as she put it, “It was marvelous!” So, that first Saturday we spent in bed together, I became Slow Hand Luke and stayed in first gear for the rest of the festivities. Ten times.
And yes, I know some women like it fast and hard and faster and harder! I’m adaptable.
And sometimes, it’s all the better the more illicit it is. Place can be a factor, time of day, marital status, even religion. I remember one noontime, in the Berkeley Hills, in full view of the road, with a married woman who was a devout Baptist and a former student…well, you get the idea. Joy to the World!
As for gay sex, I’ve never been there, but the funniest comment I ever heard came from the comedienne Sarah Silverman, who, while watching her little dog licking his own penis, remarked, “Let’s face it — gay sex, straight sex — it’s all pretty GROSS when you think about it!”
Gross or not, most of us really dig it, and don’t mind the trickle down part. Isn’t that what Kleenex is for? And sometimes that stuff perpetuates the human species, and I suppose that’s what all the evolutionary, genetic programming is about, but clearly, there’s an opt-out gene, or even several. Some folks are just asexual, and others aren’t into cross-gender sex. All these wonders in our DNA!
Once I learned the techniques, some of my favorite memories are the hours I spent just giving pleasure. I knew, intuitively, that if I gave pleasure, I didn’t have to worry about getting my own in return. In all those years, I had only one partner with whom I was so incompatible that it didn’t work, in either direction. And sadly to say, I married her! Before I discovered the horrible truth, on our wedding night, after an elaborate church wedding. Yikes!
My boyz are in their late twenties now, and I don’t give them any advice, let alone hints about sex. Oh, we watched enough movies together, less than XXX-rated, that they had a pretty good idea what it’s all about, and never asked any questions. And both of them are single. I think I talked enough about the importance of birth control while they were growing up that they won’t be caught in a parent trap of their own.
We live now in very strange times. I visit places where the sexes intermingle and sometimes go home together, or are an item, or a settled couple, even married. The younger women seem curiously indifferent, more into “Way!” and “Like…” than “I Love You.” I suspect the latest sexual revolution is one where the act itself just isn’t such a big deal. Too bad!
©2010 Dennis Green
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