Literacy Test Needed

by Dennis Green

At the recent Tea Party Convention, a first, Tom Tancredo — no stranger to American Right-Wingnuts — called for the institution of a nationwide literacy test for U.S. voters. I think that’s a great idea! And in fact I would go even further, and make passing such a test a requirement for citizenship, instead of the accident of geography of simply being born here.

And I think I could design a literacy test that Barrack Obama could pass handily, but one that Sarah Palin and most Tea Baggers could not. If we really mean what we say about how much we value education in America, let’s put our registrar of voters, and our passports, literally where our mouths are.

Maybe a question or two about T.S. Eliot, or Turgenev..? A simple org-chart of the Indo-European languages..? Perhaps just ask for the definition of onomatopoeia. It’s only fair.

After all, literacy tests were used for years to prevent black folks from voting in the South, so why shouldn’t we use them now to disenfran-chise white trash, rednecks, trailer trash, No Nothings and Ignorati? What goes ‘round must come ‘round eventually. Why not now?

And even if we limit former Republican Representative (Colorado) Tancredo’s suggestion to “a civics literacy test,” I suspect more immigrants studying for their citizenship tests, or who have recently passed them, would qualify than most natural-born citizens educated in our public school systems. If Tancredo really wants to raise the bar, perhaps he should offer a height requirement that only a zaftig Swede could pass.

And a few Watusi.

In his significant legislative efforts, Tancredo authored the Sudan Peace Act calling for a “self-sustaining Sudan” in 2002, as well as sponsoring a “Moratorium on Immigration” which failed to pass in 1999, 2001, 2003 and proposed an amendment to the U.S. Constitution to “establish English as the official language” in 2005, which also failed. He dropped out of the presidential race in 2007, and did not run for re-election.

At the Tea Party Convention, Tancredo said, “…lots of people wouldn’t even be able to say the word ‘vote’ in English…” And for that, he received a standing ovation. From people who pronounce the word, “Eye-Rack”!

I say if we’re going to have a real populist revolt, bring it on! We college graduates outnumber the dropouts now two-to-one and urbanites far outnumber the rubes. In a May 3, 2007 debate among the ten candidates for the 2008 Republican Presidential nomination, Tancredo was one of three who raised their hands when asked if anyone did not believe in the theory of evolution. Outnumbered yet again!

So perhaps we need a question about biology on that literacy test as well. DNA? Such a literacy test could even become a sort of political process of natural selection, weeding out those unfit to vote, hold office, or even live within the continental United States.

Something tells me that Tancredo and Sarah Palin would be among the very first to fail.

©2010 Dennis Green