by Dennis Green
Way back in the 1950s, before feminist gains in the media, there was a lot of talk about the “frigid” woman. I kept expecting, as a teenager, to see Frigidaire do a kitchen commercial about her. “My silly husband just keeps wanting to have sex with me, the jerk!” she would say, while patting the side of the fridge affectionately, in a sisterly fashion.
By the 1970s, after the Pill and hormone replacement therapy and a whole new reassessment of psychological diagnoses, and “The Manual,” most of us began to realize that a woman’s sex drive might vary over the course of her lifetime, now more intense, now waning, depending on many factors. As more women joined the work force and put in longer hours in more stressful situations, the whole subject became, understandably, more complex.
Some women experience a “sleepy” libido during pregnancy and after childbirth, and some women do not. Others lose interest after several decades in one relationship, while others do not. Still other women experience a decline in sex drive during and after menopause, but some do not. There is no universal, “natural” situation or age for such a decline in interest.
“Frigid,” apparently, was just a myth.
But for men, the newspaper, magazine and television ads declare, it’s “Sex for Life!” and “time to have that talk with your doctor…” and “…it’s not a disability, just a matter of making the most of what you have!” Yeah, right. One size still fits all.
Whether it’s “Extenze,” or Viagra, Cialis or “suction therapy,” there remains no excuse for a man not to be Ready Freddy 24/7. You just haven’t come a long way, Baby! In fact, you’re still that caveman in the loincloth who clubs his lady and drags her back to his lair, anytime, night or day.
So maybe it’s time for a little male liberation. Freeing ourselves, since no one else is going to do it, from all the many myths that still swirl around our manhood, around what it means to be a man, or should, or can, or will be, no matter what! Just as women clearly deserve options — to pursue a career or work at home, for example, to marry or not, have children or not — so too do we men deserve options too. Such as being a Horn Dawg or not. Or being one only when we’re single, or under 50 or only when we’re drunk.
And I realize I’m oversimplifying — that some men can’t get it up when they really want to and deserve all the help they can get. But it’s also true that a weak or waning sex drive, or a simple disinterest in sex is NOT a disability, an illness, a crippling inability, or especially a crime.
Sometimes, you’re just not in the mood, or not in the mood for this or that particular woman. “If you have an erection lasting more than four hours, call your doctor…” Doctor, hell, I’m calling a press conference!
There is no incentive, however, for Big Pharma, or even your personal physician, to adopt such a point of view. And, ladies, watch out! If the old theories about the female orgasm ever return — the notion that a woman who has only a clitoral orgasm, not vaginal or even better, a G-Spot Spasm! is dysfunctional — you’re in real trouble too.
That lubricant that makes the special moment like Roman Candles going off, K-Y Gel Intense, just may be a harbinger of things to come! So to speak…
©2010 Dennis Green
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