Post-Erotica

by Dennis Green

“It’s not the meat — it’s the EMOTION!” And I’m discovering a fascinating phenomenon in my later years, a surprising indifference, or rather, disinterest, in the opposite sex as sex objects. For a guy who’s been ruled more often than not by a lust for life, this is an interesting turn of events to say the least.

The flesh is still willing, but as I near 70, the lusty old spirit is not only weak, but absolutely missing in action, or inaction, as the case may be. And surprisingly, I’m finding many more advantages to this new, post-erotic state than disabilities. And while I still look forward to that swimsuit issue, I’ll be holding the magazine with both hands.

This is not just a change in mood, or chemistry, but a major change in attitude, and I wish more men could appreciate it. But with Big Pharma doing its best to make you feel inadequate if you aren’t Ready Freddy 24/7, I’m afraid lots of guys won’t ever appreciate such a lasting hiatus from the grind.

From a very early age, most of us males are at the mercy of our hormones, and those pheromones the ladies give off, or wear in their body lotion. Once we become sexually active, we may even come to define our worth in sexual terms — how many women we bed, how well we satisfy them, how many come back for more.

We don’t even stop to think that this might actually be a somewhat shallow measure of our value as a human being. And the sensual pleasure itself, which may be no more lasting than a bowl of ice crème or watching a great movie or concert, if it becomes compulsive or addictive, can really mess up our lives. Just ask Tiger.

And not that there’s anything WRONG with ice crème! A wonderful big sloppy bowl of Mocha Almond Fudge, Spumoni, or even Vanilla can make my day! I’ve enjoyed just about every flavor, in every conceivable location, from the diner to the drive-in to the park side picnic table, but now I’m intrigued by what happens when you lose your sweet tooth and your appetite for Hägen-Das.

To begin with, the whole dynamic with women changes, noticeably. You may have never noticed it before, how much undercurrent there is of a sexual nature in all of our cross-gender transactions. How women use it, almost unconsciously, and so do we men, that magnetism that exists between the sexes when it’s still there. And yet…without it?

Well, somehow the power dynamic changes, or maybe even just goes away. And I’m not at their mercy anymore, so I see the gals in a whole new light. (They’re even stranger than we thought!) I’m still exploring the perceptions and the new realities, and they are intriguing.

I may not be at all typical for an older male. I lost most of my hair in my twenties and have been immune to Hair Club for Men ads, so I may be the anomaly, not have much in common with the guys going blind and deaf on Viagra.

If sex and death have always been very entwined, a life without the one may just be immortal.

With most titillating TV having lost its charm, and a whole new kind of objectivity setting in, I’m enjoying what seems like a very natural stage of the whole human lifetime experience. Every now and then, I see some sexy lingerie ad, scan the babe and ask myself, “Now, remind me, what was THAT all about anyway?” Once it was life and life only. And, Boyz, this is in your future too. Ta-da!

©2010 Dennis Green